Reminiscing one’s past can be such a great pastime as I discovered a few days back, lying on my bed after a good meal, recalling my good old school days. Most of the memories that i managed to recollect were unimportant and inconsequential, like the one time I pulled off an absolutely splendid catch standing at point (which was followed by wild celebrations), only to find that it was a no-ball, and the time my report card read that I received first rank to my disbelief only to realise that my class teacher had made an gross mistake at calculating the sum and so on. A couple of funny incidents popped which I felt worth sharing.
One incident that I remembered happened at the time my class ten board results were announced. Back then, I was good at all subjects except English. I used to narrowly scrap a pass and anything close to 60 was a reason to celebrate. Somehow I never developed a liking to the language which was worsened by the attitude of my english teacher. According to her, I was an “INCORRIGIBLE CHAP” who could not string together two words even to greet someone(I never used to greet her ‘Hari Om’/’Good Morning’, she misunderstood it to be the result of my supposedly thickskinned nature, but I can assure you that I was deliberately rebellious). She was true, I was beyond repair as far as her subject was concerned, even I had given up. Coming back to the incident, when the results were put up, to everyone’s surprise/shock (including mine) I had topped English. (This was something unexpected, perhaps evidence to the existence of ‘the supernatural’, although it was something I didnt want, I would have happily exchanged the same marks with the ones i scored in math or science.) But it had its worth, I did not see my teacher until the Annual Day when I received a book in recognition of my performance, and when my teacher approached to congratulate me, once again I did not put together more than two words. Had she been over 50, I bet she would have had a heart attack. I imagine her having epileptic seizures that night and losing the ability to have orgasms henceforth. (Dont judge me by these words, I had suffered under her regime for four years, besides the hate was mutual).
Another incident that makes me laugh until my stomach aches happened when I was in eighth. That was the time guys started learning some of the unmentionable words(the ‘f’ word for example). We used to develop aliases for these, for public use would mean swift and severe retribution. (I was caught once for using them but was let off lightly, I had to chant ‘Hanuman Chalisa’ eleven times for 21 days, for the first time in my life i was happy to be in a religion oriented school) Interestingly, the girls too had some code worded abuses. Any disagreement involving a girl and a boy used to be followed by exchange of these ‘abuses’. Neither group knew what the opposite party’s code words meant. One boy in our class was so curious to know what the girls’ code meant, that he went and offered an gentlemanly proposition to a couple of girls, ‘i will tell you what my code means and you tell me what yours mean’. The girls agreed to this offer but asked the boy to volunteer first. I can tell you it was a big mistake, the initial excitement at knowing the boys’ code was quickly shadowed by the realisation that they were being subjected to some of the most offensive slurs. I will not mention the guys’ abuses to avoid censorship, but the JIM’s and GEM’s, the most lethal weapons in the girls’ abuse armoury turned out to be ‘Jayalalitha In Miniature’ and ‘Ginger Eating Monkey’. (Between I wasnt the one who leaked the code, I have already explained my ‘condition’ whenever i get within five feet of any woman in one of the previous blogs, although i will admit that I was curious to know what their code meant.)
It remains a mystery as to why of all the incidents I remembered these. But I bet each one of you can think of such silly anecdotes when you are lying after a good meal.
And by the way the blog url has changed to fantasticbore.blogspot.com, which obviously is yet another useless piece of information that I am puking all over you, for you wouldnt be reading this if you didnt know the change.