First some international news, global warming has supposedly gone down drastically in recent weeks. Experts are baffled and are searching for explanations, some have suggested that the general increase in awareness amongst public, the use of renewable resources, al gore’s music fest and others to have contributed the reversal of the global warming phenomena, now renamed by unimaginative scientists as ‘Global Cooling’. However, Steven Levitt, the renowned author of the best seller “Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything” has come up with a startling counter explanation. According to him, the phenomenon was triggered about a ten months ago following the death of famous hollywood celebrity Anna Nicole Smith. He had the following to say, “As you know she was hot, she was ‘freakin’ hot.”
Now, some local news. Millions of people in tamil nadu are still suffering from the mysterious-yet-to-be-named disease that was first reported on the day following diwali. The symptoms of the disease include burning fever, unplugged diarrhoea, disorientation, memory loss and frequent blackouts. Initial suspicion for the mass outbreak of this disease were (a) biological attack by terrorists and (b) bird flu. Now as more and more people are recovering, the cause of the disease has become clear. Apparently, the last thing they remember doing was watch ‘ATM’, the block-busted vijay movie. This is what one victim had to say, “Dont put your money on ATM”.
On to some technology news. Recent research by gungans and unemployed alien species has shown that women on an average spend 3 years of their lifetime getting ready. This may not seem startling at outset, but when combined with the following conventional wisdom – all women believe that they stop aging after 18, people spend a third of their lives sleeping, the math says they have just 9 years to actually live. Poor souls.
And finally some sports news, the cricketer who peed in his pants while facing shoaib akhtar has attacked his critics calling them bigots and chauvinists. He said and I quote “If a frog pees when attacked, people call it a self-defence mechanism but if a man pees when attacked it is cowardly and gross. Weird world”. Yes, weird indeed.