cars, curvy, women

Some news

Read a couple of interesting(atleast to me, ymmv) news bits yesterday in indian express.
1. Research shows curvy women give birth to intelligent kids, theory being that the fat around the hips/thighs helps a lot during pregnancy (in what way is beyond my understanding) – Appreciate the guys who took time to find this. It gives me the liberty to stretch the requirements in my matrimonial ad without projecting a retard image.
M24, Bhramin Iyer, SAL***p.a, looking for hourglass shaped homely girl to procreate super intelligent offspring.
Any father out there who reads this ad would be amazed at the amount of foresight i possess and should feel happy for having found the perfect match for his daughter. (little would he know about my evil plans which involves me and my super-intelligent kids taking over the world. buhahhahahahhaaa)
2. A company in Malaysia is developing a car with wonderful islamic features like compass to show the direction of mecca for performing prayers, space to keep hap/scarf etc. The news itself isn’t much interesting, but what would be interesting is when the vhp/bajrang dal guys look at this and decide to sponsor the design of a hindu car. The few features that i expect in such a car are
a. a mini idol of the favourite god of the owner placed on top of the bonnet.
b. automatic footwear banisher
c. surround track – no, not some audio enhancing peripheral, but a literal track of 3 ft width around the car that the owner can use to circumambulate after offering prayers
d. ching chak wiper – a revolutionary wiper fitted with a jalra at the ends of it, in such a way that when the wiper is swithced on it will generate the wonderful music of jalra, the most essential element in a bhajan/satsang. The driver will have the control to vary the speed of the wiper in order to sync with fast/slow bhajans.
e. automatic bouncer – an inbuilt AI system that will throw you out in case you and your girl friend start to get naughty inside the car.
What is the religion that you say you are practicing? What features would you expect in your religion-car?

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4 thoughts on “Some news

  1. Anonymous says:

    Religion: Vaazhga Vazhamudan

    The Car has to do meditation & Exercise daily and it has to keep its body healthy and ensures safety to the user

    Of course,a photo, a door that opens with a sound Vazhga valamudan, a vilakku, that never goes off.

    smart

  2. anon 1 says:

    ok so i read that news piece too (msn however)- the reason for the procreation of the superintelligent kids is that the specific type of fat around the hips and thighs is the type that helps brain development…however- i do spot a problem in your plans kay-k…what happens if said girl figures out your plan and outmanouvers you…maybe you should include her too???

    also…smart- i love the concept of a vilakku that never goes off- maybe also some kind of astrology monitor which can tell what times of the day are rahugalam- so that no-one ever embarks on something important at such times?

  3. Kay-K says:

    anon1 – anybody is welcome in my legion of doom as long as i remain the leader and nobody does a musharaf on me…

    to all anon’s : ahem.. people… i think most of you surfers must be owning a blog(if not, you should), why hide your identities and deny me(and others) the pleasure of commenting as anon007 in your blogs?

  4. anon1 says:

    it’s infinitely more fun to remain anonymous- but more to the point- how do you plan to screen those who do join your legion of doom- it occurs to me that even with musharaf’s intense screening- someone messed up somewhere.

    you really haven’t thought this world domination thing have you. i now propose that i take over and become leader of the legion of doom- just to usurp your position and to plan (properly) the ways of the totalitarian control

    *she says- and then realises that the world is reading- so carries onto confirm- that she is infact just joking- and totalitarian control can remain within the strict jurisprudence of kay-k*

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