I Think

Candid Revelations

Today I have decided to be insanely candid with you. I am going to reveal all the relationships I have been through till now(i must be insane), some may make you puke, but there is a slim chance that one of them might end up as a movie, in which case I will puke. Why am I doing this, I don’t know. I might end up embarrassing myself in front of the whole world(OK, maybe not the whole world, very few read this), but I don’t think I care(at least for now).

My first relationship was one that neither I wanted nor her. It was forced on us, I was barely eighteen then, fate brought us together but forgot to bring fevicol for the occasion. It was a catastrophe, the only thing we shared was the hatred we showed towards each other. She thought of herself as some princess and that by marrying her I had accepted to serve her unto death, she never knew how to manage anything, and wanted me to handle every bit of it. I tried procreating with her but she made me feel like King Shantanu, all my kids were either aborted or terminated unexpectedly. I couldn’t take this longer and decided to leave her for good.

So much was I shaken by this first relationship that I decided not to venture into another any time soon. But things changed when I joined Infy, it was at Mysore that I got to know her. She was great, I dint know it then but I was already in love with her. I realised this when I got back to Chennai where she was no longer around me. It was miserable, the time I did at Infy. I longed for her so much that I quit my job at Infy and took up a job at a different company where I could be with her. She was great, caring, loving and trustworthy. She seldom disappointed me and for my part I did my best. Very soon we were married.

Time is probably the worst thing that could possibly have happened to us. One moment we were married, looking forward to the fairytale happily-ever-after, but a year later I found myself filled with a feeling of emptiness, a certain void(It was only me, she dint feel it though). I guess we just lost the vibe. I began seeing other women and the funny thing was i dint feel ashamed about it.

I wasn’t making much progress with my other ventures, a guy posing as a dedicated husband has very little time to spare for his fancies. I dated a couple of girls here and there but neither went past the third date. This wasn’t all, there was another lady in my life. To the world, she was a total freak. Very few understood her for who she really was, but the rest treated her like a whore. Even I have been guilty of treating her like one, spending the occasional night or two with her, but not meeting her eyes in public. This was probably the only time I was truly ashamed of myself.

I was becoming desperate, and in my desperation I even courted a old mature lady, but realised what I had done and backed away at the last possible instant.

I was hopeless and had I stayed that way, this post would have ended now(or maybe this post wouldnt have begun at all). Fate once again intervened in my life, but this time it was working overtime to make up for the first time. One expression that finds its way into most romantic tamil movies is the ‘vayattula-pattampoochi-parakkara-feeling'(Butterflies in the stomach), I know that feeling now. She is breezy, sexy, intelligent(not the bossy-know-it-all-bitch who corrects you every time you go wrong, like my wife now), she is the girl I had dreamed about. While in all my other relationships, it was I who had to bend myself for things to work, but my latest is quite an anomaly. Sometimes she even reminds me of my childhood crush, and trust me when that happens she is the girl you want to be with.

Enuf said, you want to know who these girls are? Sure, I will show you their profiles.

Here‘s the link of the first one.(the one whose memory I had to manage bit by bit, or rather byte-by-byte), this is the next one(the one i am married to now), the girls I dated – this and this, the mature lady, the whore, the childhood crush and my love.

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