I Rant

Rajani makes it to textbooks

Today’s Indian Express carries an article about a change made in CBSE class VI textbook, the change – a lesson about Rajanikanth titled ‘From Bus Conductor to Superstar’, the lesson comes under the section dignity of work, the lesson is just what the title says, rajani’s life. This article made me really angry, about what I am still not clear.

Maybe its because I think there are a lot of worthier people who could have made it to the textbook, one example that popped in my head was the kid who worked in idli shop and made it to IIM(not necessarily the best fit, but worthier than rajani).

Maybe its because it may lead to children idolising Rajani, and inadvertently picking his mannerisms. It is not because I don’t want kids to take actors as role models, again there are worthier artists who can act as inspiration to kids (although I cant recollect one who has a rags to riches tale..)

Maybe its because i feel his rags to riches story itself had more of luck and fanatic audience than it had to do with hard work. Besides what is this “hard work” these guys are referring to? From what I read in the article it has to do with the time he spent before getting his kollywood break.

Maybe its because i hate Rajani.

Do you really think Rajani deserves to be in a school lesson? Is it just me who thinks this is not right?


The Raiders

They were raiders, the most ruthless raiders to walk the planet. They plundered and pillaged the length and breadth of the planet and the blood trail they left behind shone red on the night sky of distant planets. In the more peaceful societies across the galaxy they were referred to as barbaric and their atrocities were often the topic of discussion over tea on Sunday evenings. Of course they did not know all this and wouldn’t have cared even then. Anyway, before proceeding further, I think I owe you at least one little piece of information about them – their names. Not much is known about the raiders apart from the fact that they raid, but renowned historians claim that at some point in the past, they stopped the practice of naming themselves, the reasons suggested are plenty but I like the one citing that over generations they ran out of adjectives (the Igor the Invincible, Laxander the Great, Rnold the Terminator, stuff like that) describing themselves. Anyway for the present, let me give them an unimaginative yet appropriate name, the Raiders.

The knowledge of the hostile nature of the Raiders, did not stop the rest of the galaxy from visiting the planet. Some came for a bit of adventure, but most came for the treasure the planet held. And nearly everyone suffered the same fate – empty graves back in their home planets. The Raiders werent xenophobic, they just liked to kill.

Nix knew all this too well, but what choice did he have but to take up the mission. Slaves do not have the right to choose, they do what they are told. Nix was on a mission to the planet, the usual one of trying to mine the treasure. His overlords informed that his landing was smooth but was way off target. He had landed in the sector where the Raiders were rumoured to be present. He was ordered to immediately start his work, and he did as ordered. Within a few hours he struck gold, literally, but gold was way down the list.

Nix worked almost continuously, resting only for food and drink. On the third day, he heard it for the first time, a faint unnatural howl. Not long later he figured out that the Raiders were heading his way. He immediately contacted the overlords and made no secret of his wish to return. They werent pleased. They started discussing and deliberating the possibilities and Nix did not like the direction they were taking. Long discussion short – they told him to speed up work and planned his departure without allowing room for unexpected turn of events.

Experience always says that such plans do not work out, and Experience wore the ‘I-Told-You-So’ look as it sat sipping mocha and watched Nix struggling to start the ship’s engine, while the Raiders true to their name were mercilessly disintegrating his ship. Nix was disappointed when his life didn’t flash before his eyes when death happened, but he did not know that it had flashed a few moments earlier when he was busy with the engine.

Epilogue: Back in Nix’s home planet, the following message was sent from Nix’s overlords to their overlords – “Pheonix in jeopardy. Possibly caught in dust storm. No contact since 0300 Hrs.”

I Rant, news

Media Sucks

Couple of incidents happened today that I am really pissed off about.

1. Glorification of sachin on ndtv, come on sachin scored only for the first time this series(it was a classy knock alright), but then showing his innings’ highlights in slow motion with background music and all is way too much. Come on media, dont keep hyping sachin, there are a lot of equally talented guys out there, focus on them, and more importantly focus on the game. If there isnt enough cricket to be reported about, focus on other sports news, like champions league final for example. Its already 20 minutes into the half hour sport news show and not a word about the final yet. NDTV sucks.
2. When I tune on to a news channel in the morning, the one thing I definitely expect to hear is the news, and the last thing I should be expecting to hear is my fortune from a tarot card reading bi*ch. I just cannot understand who got this brilliant idea of hosting tarot card reading at 7.30 in the morning. Headlines Today sucks big time. And you should watch some of the ‘NEWS’ they report, katrina kaif’s dog is dating salman khan’s pussy, deepika padukone had idli for dinner, rakhi sawant’s ambition in life is to ride the North Pole(sorry riding to the north pole), who the hell cares about this sh*t. This channel is the equivalent of tabloids in newspapers. Again, Headlines Today, I have got just two words for you – Youuuuuu SUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK..

If you media guys have no job other than recycling turd, try doing this for a change.

I Think

Answered by Kamal : @ twenty-four frames per second ?

Not so long ago, after spending a significant part of my life in watching movies ( and re-watching over and over a lot more times ), I just asked myself…

what could be the best and worst of things that I could have possibly got out of watching movies?

Important Note: I suffer from acute congenital selfcontradictophilia and ones in italics may be my mirror thoughts or my parallel thought streams with no or zero sense.

OK, I’ll reserve the worst for the last!

The best things ?

1. I could bring out all the forms of my emotional side, whenever and where ever I want to (lying on bed with my laptop! )~ laugh, cry, mourn, curse, and what not! Choice is the greatest of all blessings! 

2. I could end a bad day at work by watching a ‘relaxer’ and celebrate a happy day by watching a ‘rejoicer’. Day’s over ! watch some movie and goto sleep, you moron ! 

3. Spend some quality time on entertainment and spend some more high-quality time on dirtier entertainment. positively-sloped linear relationship on a dirtiness-time graph!

Sadly though, most of the answers brought my HappynessMeter® to a new All-time low!

And Oh! the following are not in how-much-it-makes-you-feel-like-a-loser order!

1. Primary Issue – Searching answer for all my problems… the cinematic way!’

2. Watch a movie and imagine the same problem to happen in my life – I dont have to spend time and mind trying to solve it, I know the answer!

2. Hoping Whatever I do will become one of the most dramatic and remembered events in Human history. – which is not true even for one-in-six-billionth of the human race! even I dont remember what was the last thing I did, that I could call it an achievement! 😦

3. Assuming that the worst thing cannot exist for more than two and a half hours – or everyone dies !

4. Trying to correlate my every living moment with a movie scene, and telling to myself ‘ Yippee!! I know what’s next!! ‘

5. When the next ‘scene’ is (obviously!) not what I expected, start searching for another scene from a random movie where something close happened! – Yeah, I know a scene which is similiar to what happened just now!

6. My decision making capability (if I had it at all!) is tightly bound to my ability to picturize the situation with a movie! – I always pray I could picturize exactly one movie. Choice is the greatest of all curses!

7. Get a chance to realize yourself and when I am just about to accept the fact that ‘I was the only screw-up in the whole god damn group!’, I tell to myself  ‘OMG, I had the chance to be the villian all this time.. should have done that part much more creatively! ‘

8.Screwing up things so disastrously and expect a miracle to fix the situation – but later convincing myself that There is no such thing called miracle. It was just meant to happen!

Well, the answers had a pretty disastrous effect on me lately.

First of all, I did not expect these many answers are going to come out of such a small simple question. ( and why does this remind me of John Nash saying  ‘Like in multivariable calculus, wherein for any given problem, there are more than one solutions!’)

Second , I can never take a cure for something which I refuse to accept as a problem! and I dont want to stop watching movies! and dont want to correlate my life with it too!

Third , What the hell do I actually want then?

The irony ? Guess where these answers came from ? the question itself!

I was youtubing the other day when I stumbled upon this particular scene in Kurudhi punal, the one where DCP Adinarayan is interrogating Badri after He comes to know that Badri is the head of rebel gang.I had watched this scene at least a dozen times before but this one time, It made a whole new sense to me.

He mentions that ‘the future is faced with a weak-hearted movie-maniac generation not worthy of revolutionizing the World anymore! ‘

I dont know if anyone has watched this scene from the same angle that I viewed it! But it made me feel guilty and unworthy!

But why am I trying to take an answer from the very thing that I am judging the credibility for? Should I take the answer? Should I not? Was DCP Adhi true?… like in real life

Am I really one of those ‘weak-hearted movie-maniacs’ ? Is there anything to drive my Happynessmeter up?

I think this is my classic hangovers disturbing and ruining my weekend. But what the hell! I know what the next scene is! – take few shots of ‘Tequila’ Sunrise, and I should be over it!

Nerds, news

Obesity Universal?

Scientists at the University of Sydney have found that the Milky Way is twice the size we thought it was. What can I say, obesity is indeed universal.

Proving not all science requires big, expensive apparatus, Professor Gaensler and colleagues, Dr Greg Madsen, Dr Shami Chatterjee and PhD student Ann Mao, downloaded data from the internet and analysed it in a spreadsheet.

When they say spreadsheet, were they using Excel 2007? and did their calculations involve numbers whose products result in 65535? If so, I think they should probably recheck. Remember what MS is capable of doing to such multiplcations.

football, I Think

My Team of the Season

The season’s over. ManU won it. Liverpool came fourth. Ok lets get over it.

I just came up with my dream team of the season. I have tried to avoid ManU players as much as possible (their team right now is as good as any dream team one could think of). Here’s the team.

                   Torres               Rooney
                   Fabregas              Gerrard

Lescott                                             Glen Johnson

                      Rio                  Micah



Like I said earlier lotsa Manu players would have made to the team, but I have tried my best to look away from them.

Other players who were impressive(to me, YMMV) during the season include Anelka, Defoe, Eduardo, Flamini, Petrov, Krancjar, Skrtel, Bentley.

The best buys of the season ?
5. Tuncay
4. Santa Cruz
3. Nani/Anderson duo
2. Petrov/Elano
1. Torres

The worst purchases in the season?
5. Voronin
4. The players Big Sam bought to newcastle, Barton/Smith/Cacapa etc
3. All those Northern Irish players whom Sanchez bought to the cottage
2. Kaboul(What a joke he has been)
1. Malouda(?)

Sad Moment: Eduardo injury

Could think of only three
4. Most Derby games?
3. Bramble (Wigan vs Man City)(The one where geovanni scored seconds after kick off)
2. Bramble (Wigan vs Everton)

1. Robinson (FA Cup Spurs vs Reading)

Next Season?
Already looks promising
Modric – experts claim it to be a wonderful signing for spurs
Bosingwa – would atleast he be the proper full back EPL is missing? or would we have to wait for alves?
Etoo, Henry, Ronaldinho, Huntelaar…. etc all names floating around.
Hope Liverpool have a great time shopping.

cartoon, Memories, robots, School


After a really really long time I saw some clips of dexter’s lab in youtube. Back in school days, I never used to miss it, even the repeats. Everyday @ 5 p.m. Hmm, now i know where I was when I should have been playing around. Anyway, even today I think dexter is far better company than what society has to offer.

Those days dexter’s lab was my favourite among favourites(The list includes johnny quest, pinky and the brain and of course popeye show). I could never(and still dont) understand how people dint come to like dexter.

Here’s a short clip. The best part of it is the one where dexter demo’s his robotic arm(ahh.. think of all the pies I could make :D). I seriously wish I did something like that.

Update : Saw this gem, awesome!