I Rant

Hyderabad

Had been to Hyderabad a couple of weeks back. I always tend to underestimate the power of human stupidity and time and again learn my lesson. When it comes to road sense, I thought Chennai held the record for having the least of it, as it happens with records, it was completely shattered by Hyderabad. If I were to plot a bar graph with city on the x-axis and quantified lawlessness along the y, the bar for Hyderabad would break into the 3rd dimension of the 2D graph, zoom past the 5th, would look completely bored surfing through the 8th before finally settling in the 14th dimension, infinity will be awestruck by it like a 14 yr old looking at a 48D for the first time, big bang will look like a vengaya vedi before it… you get the point.
It is not just the motorists, the pedestrians of Hyderabad must be the result of bad genetic experiments aimed at cross breeding humans with zombies. They zombie walk their way onto the road and any human semblance shows up only to yell and scream when some motorist knocks them over.

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I Think

The power to heal

What do you do when you see a suffering man? All I did was get up and offer my seat in the bus. This man was clearly suffering from some sort of fit. He said it was normal. That is normal only if normal means sick. It is one of those times when I wish I were cold and heartless rather than compassionate and helpless.

I have pretty much changed my super power wish.. if only I had the power to heal..

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I Rant

Money Matters

I was never designed to understand inflation. Seriously. Yes, the theoretical part is all fine and makes sense. But something has been hardcoded in my DNA, that doesnt accept inflation. When my granddad was alive, the whole family would attend some kalyaanam or kaadhukuthu, fully kattify and give 51 bucks as the moi. 51 bucks, that’s it. No fancy gifts. No gift cheques. And people seemed happy with it. Even if they weren’t nobody complained. But today, 51 bucks is downright cheap. Even travelling to such an event costs more than that. Still, somewhere in my brain an utterly stupid question keeps popping up ‘what the hell is wrong with 51 bucks? your presence is more important than what you give…’ and so on.

Just as inflation is alien to me, so is the amount of money people make these days. I had never dreamed realistically(yes, there are realistic dreams like bathing in a bath tub and just plain dreams like ‘I wanna be an astronaut.. yippee’) of making what i make today, but here’s the surprise, what I make today is just about the money many people spend in KFC or McDonalds or Barista. I think these are the people who will frown when you give 51 bucks at some function they are hosting. No this is not just some rich guy poor guy divide talk. It is partially that, but its more to do with how reckless we are with money.

Yesterday, there was a discussion about the pros and cons of the iPhone in internal blogs at my workplace. There was an anonymous comment speaking for the iPhone which went like ‘Paying 36100 bucks for the iPhone was worth every penny..’ or something like that. That was where I stopped reading. I know this amounts to not just the phone, but also the plan and so on.. blah blah blah et cetara et cetara. But still that was about one and a half times the money my family made not so long ago(4 years ago to be exact) ‘annually’, that money fed a family of 4 for 18 freaking months. And today, it is the money well spent on a freaking phone. I am not immune to such nauseous spending, back in college I made an unreasonable demand for a PC to my dad, who finally gave in to my cajoling/threats and wasted 26k. Today, i realise it was a major chunk of his life time savings. What a nasty little wart I was.. I still am. After starting to work, I spent 10k on my sony ericson phone. But sometimes, obnoxious statements like the ‘36100 bucks’ reminds you of the past, hits you with the sense of how much indiscreet we have become with money. Tomorrow, if I were to hit some jackpot, remind me of this post and ask me what I am doing with all the money. And if I were to make such obnoxious statements, I hereby give you the right to smack right across my face.

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I Think, women

Booby Trap

What i saw while shopping for diwali is the subject of this post. It was the… the most… wonderful.. ? yes, but that’s not the word.. exotic..?? true.. extravagant..??? definitely.. ok.. how do do you describe a cleavage that is all this and more? There was this woman flaunting her *fill adjective here* cleavage.. My eyes refused to look away from this amazing scene, which was stupid because my brain hadnt ordered it to look anywhere else. I suppose this is what people refer to as ‘booby trap’. Anyway, i went nuts over the cleavage(hey.. i am speaking figuratively… dont take that in a literal sense).

Once the adrenaline settled down the whole thing bothered me for a couple of reasons. 1. It wasnt special, let me explain what special is in a bit. According to karthik’s second axiom..yes that’s me , ‘accidental cleavage is always better than deliberate cleavage'(see foot note for the first axiom). Accidental cleavage is one of the few things that makes a man religious, for only the lord krishna, allah, jesus, the buddha, sun, moon, stars, solar system, alpha centauri etc could have made your presence at that specific spot possible… there is no other explanation.. you are the ‘Chosen One’ to witness that cleavage. But deliberate cleavage robs you of that felling, now anybody who sees that woman can see the cleavage. The other reason has probably got to do with the fact that i am still a 20th century indian. And the view of a cleavage of a late 20’s-early 30’s woman, who had her 5year old kid nearby… dint seem right. Maybe i need to get used to seeing more cleavages. Anyway, felt bad about seeing the cleavage with an open mouth, felt good about feeling bad and once again felt bad about feeling good about feeling bad… yes it does make sense if you think about it.

PS: Here’s the karthik’s first axiom for the interested, ‘no two cleavages are the same, every cleavage is unique’, try and invalidate it.

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I Think, Silly

Number Fetish

Do you like numbers? It is perhaps a stupid question, but I like them, some more than the others.

The first number that I like (and almost everyone does) is undoubtedly 1. This number possesses an elusiveness, a certain seductive appeal that so many people spend much of their life chasing it. Such is its wonder that it sort of shadows the next numbers 2 and 3, they sort of look second and third class compared to it. Four isnt much better but makes it up by virtue of being a square. Almost all squares, cubes, … nth powers are likable. Its easy for people to like the numbers 5, 7, 8(although people have a superstitious dislike for the number 8) and 9, the first real ordinary number is 6, which IMO has to do with being surrounded by giants.

Lets move on a step further. The next set of numbers that are worthy of admiration are the primes. Numbers like 11, 13, 17, 23 arent likable at first look. But there is a certain rebellious tendency among these numbers, a certain independence, whole and indivisible nature that makes me secretly admire them, these are the che’s and bhagat singh’s of the number system.

We as humans are designed to deal with numbers on a reasonable scale, although we play around with the giga-tera-numbers and micro-pico-fractions(with the help of machines), there are very few among us who can truly appreciate such numbers and I am certainly not one of them. The reasonable scale in my case is somewhere around 100, numbers within this limit I can profile and judge. Not saying that this is a hard limit. There are some numbers outside this range that stand out, for example 1024 or 729 or 121. Ofcourse I can judge the likability of numbers randomly thrown at me(which are also within a reasonable range). For example there is very little to think about a number like say 537, this is less likable than say 357 or 753. One may argue that it is probably because it doesnt follow a pattern, and in that sense it is like the primes. The difference between primes and a number like 537 is similar to the difference between Che and a local dada. It is not just the oddity(odd here denotes both odd numbers1,3,5 and also numbers not fitting into a pattern) of numbers that makes them appealing(or not). A number like say 614 is just as bland as the 537.

In one sense numbers are like people, or maybe people are like numbers, very few stand out as are truly wonderful, the rest of them are, ironically there to just fill up the numbers. Regardless, each number has a unique personality, and I have reached the point where I cant make up my mind as to whether people are like numbers or is it the other way around.

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