I Think

Karthik, the farmer

I have always been a romantic, not just any romantic but Gladiator-Russell-Crowe kind of a romantic. When I look into my future, I do not see karthik, the coder or karthik, the entrepreneur, but I see 'karthik, the farmer', living by a countryside, upon his couple of acres of fertile land. I dream of the day when I would wake up to the warm scents rising from the earth swept by aqueous bovine excrement. I have even chalked out my typical day, I would wake up and take that half feet wide track to the banyan tree overlooking my farm.

Now before I go too far into this fantasy, let me make it clear that this is the future where farming methodologies and genetic engineering have advanced to the point that I really dont need to know any real farming to be a farmer. This isnt so unrealistic, today we have folks using computers without really knowing what's under the hood, i expect that the really major farming decision that I would have to make will be choosing the color of the farm, I have decided, its gonna be purple. I expect that the entire farming process will be encapsulated in the press of a few buttons(and that too only to make me feel like I am doing some work). And once I have done that I would have nothing to do except wile away my time by the shade of the tree, reading a book or two, when mayil or kuyil or ponnatha or any other bharathiraja-village girl would hop down that track, with her arms outstretched like a pterodactyl, one hand holding the saapattu tooku and the other stretched wide for balance. Did I mention that she would be following the dress code of pathinettu patti, the one about no blouse during working hours?

Once I am done with my meal, I would try getting to know the neighbourhood, I plan to start with sending gifts to my neighbours. I would then venture into a stroll over my neighbours' farm, where if I find crows spoiling the farm I would heartily chase them away, I expect to be good at this and who knows I might even earn a buck or two. Upon returning to my farm, if I find any black sheeps roaming there, I would try my hand at shearing, the worst that could happen is that I end up mutilating it into a sheep orc, but if I succeed I could sell the black wool at the market. My gut tells me black wool will be the a big hit in the future. As the day wears on I would visit my barn of genetically superior animals. I plan to have three cows, O. Lakshmi, S. Shenbagam, C. Gomatha. 'So what's the deal with the initials?' you may ask, well, O lakshmi gives good old Ordinary milk, S Shenbagam squeezes out Strawberry milk and C Gomatha lends nice creamy Chocolate milk, which I could drink and also sell at the market.

That was a nice fantasy, but do you know the worst thing that could happen to a wild fantasy? it is seeing 50 million people living my fantasy. Why almost every one at my workplace owns a farm, enjoys a nice session of crow chasing, and sells chocolate milk at the market. The only solace is that they are yet to enjoy the pterodactyl hop of mayil. Did I mention her dress code?

Now I have to start all over again with a new wild wild fantasy. Aha!

I have always been a romantic, not just any romantic but Godfather-Marlon-Brando kind of a romantic. I dream of the day when I would be the head of a mafia family…

PS If you havent understood anything, you are probably not on facebook yet or if you have, you are in a statistically impossible social network of size 1, thereby allowing you to not get infested with the deadly farmville and mafia wars viruses. You have a life, I envy you.

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