About a year ago I made this offbeat remark to Joe at work ‘Dude.. IIMs are overrated. I wouldnt join one even if I got through’. Little did I know that one year later I would be doing as I said. I know, me.. a man of my word, I am surprised too.
MBAs are not for everyone. MBA is definitely not for me. There seems to be a lot of interesting stuff that one gets to learn over the two years, but honestly, none of them excite me, none of them makes me go ‘wow.. this is awesome’. I tried convincing myself that it would be great, I even told guru that I might take it up if I got through. But truth be told, I was never much into it. But isnt MBA the thing right now? It is popular, everyone wants it, there is a pot of gold waiting at the other end, surely, thats reason enough to go for it. Well, I am going to say no for the same reason why a guy wouldnt marry a girl just because she is hot and popular. (Between I love that analogy, it gives me the feeling that I am actually rejecting a hot girl, not just any hot girl, but one that wants me. Woohoo!)
But then why the hell did I write it in the first place? This one bugs me. I did what I did largely because of peer pressure. I dont know how many times I have heard about the ‘achievements’ of my peers, I grew tired of being the only one not seeming to be doing good. Sometimes, the need for external validation drives one to do crazy stuff. Besides, there seemed to be a hype surrounding CAT, about how tough the whole thing was, and it seemed like a reasonable challenge. Ofcourse, esskay warned me that it wasnt a big deal, then again he is lot smarter than me and one has to take the words of smarter folks with a pinch of salt. Now, I agree with him, the whole thing is just a dumb hyped up crap test.
It was funny telling my dad that I wasnt taking it up. He looked at me, and then my mom, then at me and again my mom and was silently asking her ‘Now which one of us has gone crazy here? is he the one talking nonsense or am i the one hearing nonsense?’ He was a little disappointed, once again i have denied him bragging rights. He must be wondering how long he has to wait for something awesome to happen to me. He can no longer say ‘karthik.. bayangara intelligent… samathu kozhanda..’ and stuff like that, I am not 10 anymore.
He said this jokingly, sarcastically and a bit seriously ‘You dint make it to IIT, now you are rejecting IIM, you dont have an MS or a MTech or any other MBA, you are in a job that wont take you onsite, you dont own any property, not even a car, now that is an amazing resume you have got there for the marriage market’. But.. but.. dad..I can joke, and I can solve the rubik’s cube in under 90 seconds, i bet only one in ten thousand can do both, that has got to count for something right? right? I am also training at weight lifting and have signed up for archery lessons. When the time comes I will not only be ready to lift a bow and string it but also ready to hit a moving fish eye just by looking at its reflection. That was good enough for Sita and Draupadi.. right? But.. as usual I keep forgetting the facts, both Rama and Arjuna were kings to begin with. Both attended the finest army schools of their day. Rama did a PhD under Vishwamitra on Professional Management and Arjuna had a degree in Advanced Warfare from Drona’s Institute of Technology, specializing in intermediate range ballistic missiles. But then everybody conveniently forgets that Rama was plagued by the suspicion that his wife might have cheated on him and that Arjuna lost his marbles and needed therapy during a war. We tambrams suffer from a pathological fascination for elitism, credentialism and social status, and that leaves me, in the words of a famous english pikey, ‘proper fucked’.
I keep hearing from well meaning friends and relatives that I would be regretting this decision. Easy guys, I know how a regret works and how to handle one. A good regret pounces on you on a nice sunday afternoon when you are so full of bhindi, rajma and chaawal that you cannot fall asleep no matter how hard you try. The best way to avoid the regret would be to eat a little less and prompty fall asleep. Whether i will regret this depends on what I do with the rest of my time, if things go according to my plans I wouldnt be regretting anything, if they dont, I would be eating less on sunday afternoons.
Finally, you might have noticed that I havent told which school wanted me, that would be the IIM at Shillong. I can almost hear you saying ‘ithuku daan ivlo sceneaa.. ennamo A..B..C vendamnu sonna maathiri daana feel panraan’ Reminds me of this joke.
A guy walks into a bar, goes to this girl and says ‘You look pretty, would you sleep with me for a million dollars?’ The girl says ‘One million is a lot of money, I might’ The guy then asks ‘Would you sleep with me for a 100 dollars?’ For which the girl replies ‘What kind of woman do you think I am?’ The guy responds ‘We have already established that, we are just negotiating the price’
I know, a sexist joke, but one that fits the context. Would I have whored myself had it been A B or C? Well, right now all I can say is I am not rejecting IIMS, but rejecting MBA. So yeah, I still wouldnt have taken it.