I never get the right handshake. Half the time I get the i-want-to-break-your-fingers handshake, they think they are being jolly good fellas by crushing my hand, it is supposed to be good natured, but fuck you assholes, it is painful. Its either that or a limp, lifeless handshake. Its your hand dammit, pump some blood into it, heres a tip – think there is a naked woman in the room, that should do it. There is nothing more annoying that trying to shake hands with a person who just offers his finger edges, wait a minute, there is, its the guy who leaves my outstretched hand hanging in midair while his pithecanthropus brain processes what to do with it.